Sex and the Cosmo Girl

To say the king’s not wearing clothes
Means someone’s dodged the obvious,
To say the queen dispatches those
At moments that we won’t discuss
Is Helen Gurley Brown’s bequest
That traded prudery for zest.

Our Home-Grown Pioneers

Stay-out-of-jail cards aren’t as good
As green cards for tomorrow’s Yanks.
Those issued, though, this summer should
Prompt young undocumenteds’ thanks.
If here since kids, they’re free to roam
For two years as though right at home.

Beware of Women

If you’re of child-bearing age
The odds are huge that you or he
Use contraception at some stage
No matter what your faith might be.
That’s what much hush-hush polling shows
How we have fun without our clothes.

Beware of Geezers

Four years ago Obama won
In large part thanks to youngsters’ votes.
This year he’ll win when seniors shun
The GOP, whose slate promotes
Dismantling of Medicare,
A view not going anywhere.

That Which is Worse than Lying

I’d rather have a president
Who’s bright enough to not get caught
When lying as to what laws meant
And waivers even he had sought
While governor with oversight
To make sure welfare-work went right.

Goodbye Sleet, Hello Click

The Postal Service, what’s its need
In times when movement of its mail
Is correlated with the speed
Of something plodding as a snail
By those who’ve never bought a stamp,
Whose emails messaging revamp?