Goodbye Sleet, Hello Click

The Postal Service, what’s its need
In times when movement of its mail
Is correlated with the speed
Of something plodding as a snail
By those who’ve never bought a stamp,
Whose emails messaging revamp?

For parcels, Federal Express
Can do the job at least as well.
Along with rival UPS
Their speedy service should foretell
The end for postal carriers
Kept safe by legal barriers.

For clogging junk mail sent third-class,
Smart websites ought to take its place.
For forced retirees en masse
The rival firms might find them space.
And in their hard times put a halt
To health-care funding in default.

For sure the Constitution yields
USPS exclusive right.
But if in doing so it shields
From rain and sleet and gloom of night
Competitors who’d like the wet,
Note Founding Fathers had no ‘Net.