The Westminster Show

Who anywhere around the world
Could find the backbone to resist,
Amid those Union Jacks unfurled,
Except an anti-monarchist
Who’d favor humdrum, God forbid.
(More when such fanfare’s on his quid.)

Time to Gas Down

Whenever are we going to learn
The price of gas will just increase?
Why should we be Big Oil’s concern?
The driving public’s its to fleece.
Five bucks a gallon’s drawing near;
Yet tax breaks worth billions every year.

A True Choice

If a certain Galilean preacher,
Held by some as God, by some a prophet,
Walked the Earth again, once more a teacher,
This, I hope, is what he’d want to posit:

A Few Good Bullies

Recall the Rutgers freshman who,
While cozy with another guy
Was caught on tape and bid adieu
Not just to school. He chose to die.
But not before A Facebook post,
For—“sorry”—giving up the ghost.

Don't Take If . . .

Just thank your stars you don’t push pills.
Attorneys are the ad execs.
Commercials for what cures our ills
Are nine-tenths would-be bad effects.
When through, I’m left in such a sweat
To empty out the cabinet.

The State of Columbia

The District of Columbia
Is leftist like no other place,
A liberal cornucopia
Established more or less on race:
A slim majority of blacks,
A third (count me!) broad-minded whites,
A tenth, Latinos, to the max
Too busy working days and nights.

Shalom!

Chag Sameach! (Joyous Pasoch!)
Passover begins at sundown.
Jews, passed over since no door knock
Thanks to lamb’s blood, promptly left town,
Fleeing Pharaoh’s servility,
Moses deftly cleaving the sea.

Romneycare

In Massachusetts, first to try
A universal health-care plan,
The governor, who’s cast his eye
On soaring prices, thinks he can
Reduce them with a scheme we know—
Though state-controlled, an HMO.

Time for Beany

A San Francisco Giants fan
Who watched his guys play opening day
Might wish he didn’t walk but ran
From Dodger Stadium in L.A.
As though it weren’t enough they’d lost,
His brains came close to getting tossed

Going, Going, Goner

We still talk euphemistically:
Enhanced performance due to drugs,
Although there’s no more mystery
How out of nowhere someone slugs
A ton more homers than before.
A steroid makes the number soar.

Catching ZZZ's

Imagine we’re a corporate firm
That needs to sell its stock or bond,
Though for the current fiscal term
We’ve got no budget, and beyond,
Directors don’t agree at all,
As eavesdropped on a conference call.

Some Card, That Trump!

Mitt Romney holds a slender lead
Among Republicans who seek
Their party’s choice to supersede
Obama next year. Note this week
In second place Mike Huckabee,
Tied with The Donald, prez would-be.

Damn That Faust!

Police in Portland, Oregon,
To move along suspicious types,
Successfully have hit upon
A ruse that has thugs yelling yipes
When ears attuned to rap or rock
Hear amplifiers blaring Bach.

An Extravagant Proposal

The government might close this week
If congressmen can’t pass a bill
With cuts House GOPers seek
In funding for the old and ill—
Their Medicare and Medicaid
And SS, into which they’ve paid.

What in the Name of God

A monster such as Terry Jones,
The Koran-burning psychopath,
A conscientious world bemoans
For bringing on a blood-filled bath
When vengeful Afghan Muslims struck
A U.N. site and ran amok.

Click All About It!

We owe Herr Gutenberg the grounds
Why newspapers are called The Press,
Though more and more the term confounds
The young for whom newsworthiness
Is sometimes zilch unless it’s seen
In vids upon some sort of screen.