Instructions Not Included

Barack Obama, auto czar,
Would like a smaller GM car
That burns less fuel. He’s got his way.
The bankrupt giant’s ours today.

Perhaps, though, he should still think through
That bureaucrats don’t have a clue
Of how to build one-hole latrines
Much less elaborate machines.

If civil safety servants fret
That ears of family dogs face threat
Each time they stick their head outside,
Will sides of cars need shields supplied?

To save the air from greenhouse gas
Will EPA make fumes repass
Through onboard holding tanks for dumps
Down carbon wells alongside pumps?

Or Agriculture’s staff in thrall
To farmers pushing ethanol
For corn-fed-only cars, thereby
They'll push the cost of food too high?

Or possibly these plans they’ll chuck,
If DOD prefers a truck
Robotically controlled for fights,
As armored, cost-effective knights.

Thus might besiege the Cabinet,
Entreaties mixed, inordinate.
This needs someone to sort them out
Who knows what Washington’s about,

Who knows the aisle’s other side
Where small-car aims have often died.
Bad business for petroleum,
At best the GOP's thought dumb.

Joe Biden, charmer, he’s my man,
If anyone can hawk, he can
And grace an ad campaign to foil
The TV spots to drill more oil.